I've come to you this night bearing news of change. While it's true that I do enjoy video games on occasion and/or every day, I think it's time to break out into some other areas I'd like to explore (Not in a bi-curious way if that's what you're thinking... Oh, it's not? Well... Good then) I mean, that I'd like to start doing some things besides the odd article or review. Things that don't necessarily involve video games. I'm thinkin', maybe, some podcasts or even just a casual video of me wasting time at home (Which may or may not involve me sitting around in my underwear watching Real House Wives) It's just that, the more I observe and the more I write, the more I enjoy it all. I've learned to love interacting with people, making them think, making them laugh, making them envision me with no pants on, y'know, real stuff. I've almost felt that journalism is something I'd like to pursue. How deep that conviction is remains to be seen, however. All of this isn't to say that I've grown tired of producing content on video games, but rather I'm interested in discovering facets of my personality that come out when I'm writing or recording other in other areas of society.
One last thing regarding the whole Housewives in my underwear thing. (Disclaimer: There are no housewives in my underwear, Katie). I assure you I would never do that. What do you think I am, some kind of moral deviant? Seriously, Real Housewives is an awful show. G'night!
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Houston... pt.2
And that's where Captain MrAnderson's log ends and mine begins, (boy, that came out more homoerotic than I'd expected) because this is the part where, for the sake of journalistic integrity, I've got to start making some actual points about actual gameplay of which, there is none. Well, not in the strict sense of the word anyway. I like to think the people who refer to it as "gameplay" are the same people that put filing their own taxes under the hobbies section of social networking sites, but that's beside the point. As far as travel is concerned, you right click on a location you'd like to travel to on your map (drop down menu), set the way point, activate the auto-pilot and walk away. Which, is a surprisingly effective strategy for most parts of the game. As for combat, like most MMO's of the present day, (i.e. World of Warcraft, Guild Wars, ect.) to engage an enemy you simply right click them (drop down menu) and select 'attack', indicating that you would like to engage them while circling slowly counter-clockwise of each other, like two uncommitted street fighters. You then exchange pot shots until one of you either blows up or logs out in favor of another game.
Admittedly, I probably didn't give EVE the opportunity it deserved. For all it's drop down menus, (and there are many. many. drop down menus) un-intuitive controls, poorly implemented user-interface, and not to mention the most lengthy tutorial I've ever seen outside of an induction course to theoretical physics, it's a nice looking game. The infinite reaches of space reflect well on the artists, and the various ships and constructs of each race are well designed and themed to each particular culture. From the ships of the Gallente, a race of entitled, rich fucks seemingly funded by Bill Gates himself, to the Minmitar, a once tribal nation trying to claw it's way from the depths of disparity, whose vessels appear to be held together by duct tape and spunk.
However, that's about the length to which I can extend a slightly off-angle thumbs up. I considered not even touching the subject of skill development, because I honestly couldn't explain it to you if I tried, but I wouldn't be the clever, handsome, socially competent man I like to think I am if I didn't make a fool of myself giving it my best shot. In short, you click on a skill you'd like to train and log off, otherwise repeat step one and leave the game on for two weeks, very much to the dismay of your computer and anyone else trying to use your internet. Skills level up in real time, taking anywhere from a couple hours to a several weeks to complete one skill. As for the array of abilities you can master in the game, please refer to the photo accompanying this article. The most staggering fact is that you could very literally complete a master's degree in actual theoretical physics before you could level all skills to their maximum. At this point the word "time sink" just doesn't cut it.
EVE Online did happen to do reveal one key concept about gaming that I now hold very dear; that being, if I can't begin playing a game and demonstrate basic knowledge of the core gameplay mechanics in under an hour, something's very wrong. I understand that the free trial is mainly to give people an opportunity to play the game before committing to a subscription, but it should also try to make an impression on that player so that they actually want to keep playing, much less pay to do so. The basic functions of the game could easily take hours at a time to learn and, while one could argue that this provides a deep, engrossing, and perhaps even rewarding experience, it isn't exactly putting your best foot forward to be like FF13 fanboys in saying "It gets good about 20 hours in!" I guess, when it comes right down to it, the game is simply inaccessible to new players, at best, and downright overwhelming, at worst. Then again, I may just be exceedingly dim.
Admittedly, I probably didn't give EVE the opportunity it deserved. For all it's drop down menus, (and there are many. many. drop down menus) un-intuitive controls, poorly implemented user-interface, and not to mention the most lengthy tutorial I've ever seen outside of an induction course to theoretical physics, it's a nice looking game. The infinite reaches of space reflect well on the artists, and the various ships and constructs of each race are well designed and themed to each particular culture. From the ships of the Gallente, a race of entitled, rich fucks seemingly funded by Bill Gates himself, to the Minmitar, a once tribal nation trying to claw it's way from the depths of disparity, whose vessels appear to be held together by duct tape and spunk.
However, that's about the length to which I can extend a slightly off-angle thumbs up. I considered not even touching the subject of skill development, because I honestly couldn't explain it to you if I tried, but I wouldn't be the clever, handsome, socially competent man I like to think I am if I didn't make a fool of myself giving it my best shot. In short, you click on a skill you'd like to train and log off, otherwise repeat step one and leave the game on for two weeks, very much to the dismay of your computer and anyone else trying to use your internet. Skills level up in real time, taking anywhere from a couple hours to a several weeks to complete one skill. As for the array of abilities you can master in the game, please refer to the photo accompanying this article. The most staggering fact is that you could very literally complete a master's degree in actual theoretical physics before you could level all skills to their maximum. At this point the word "time sink" just doesn't cut it.
EVE Online did happen to do reveal one key concept about gaming that I now hold very dear; that being, if I can't begin playing a game and demonstrate basic knowledge of the core gameplay mechanics in under an hour, something's very wrong. I understand that the free trial is mainly to give people an opportunity to play the game before committing to a subscription, but it should also try to make an impression on that player so that they actually want to keep playing, much less pay to do so. The basic functions of the game could easily take hours at a time to learn and, while one could argue that this provides a deep, engrossing, and perhaps even rewarding experience, it isn't exactly putting your best foot forward to be like FF13 fanboys in saying "It gets good about 20 hours in!" I guess, when it comes right down to it, the game is simply inaccessible to new players, at best, and downright overwhelming, at worst. Then again, I may just be exceedingly dim.
Monday, February 4, 2013
Houston... pt.1
You can do quite a few things in an hour. You can watch 60 minutes, count to 3,600 to the beat of a metronome set to 60/bpm (Yes, I Googled how many seconds in an hour) , and, as I've discovered, complete the tutorial to EVE Online (and uninstall it).
//////////////////// Incoming transmission ///////////////////////
Name: MrAnderson (akari?) <--- (Randomly generated last name)
Location: 8738959.389257//1384 Kartisan sector <--- (Probably a real location)
Time: Approx. 45 minutes into a 14 day free trial
Subject: Houston...
Fuck this.
/////////////////// End transmission ////////////////////////////////
45 minutes earlier...
Captain's log/ trial date 2-4-2013
As I sit in my capsule, docked in a station orbiting a moon I can't pronounce and the promise of endless riches and adventure before me, I reflect upon my existence up to this point as a graduating pilot of the Calderran State War Academy. Ever since I can remember I've felt as if I've never been in control of my own life. It's never been more obvious than this morning after I awoke to find that I couldn't remember anything about who I was. It seems as if it took me an eternity to remember my own name and yet another spent debating with myself as to why I shouldn't have it changed to MasterChiefRulez91.
A sudden air of loneliness made me long for home, which I also couldn't remember. After thinking heavily for some period of time, I could only come to three possible conclusions about my conception and childhood. One, in which I was the vengeful orphaned son of a pair of prestigious merchants, cut down by a gang of outlaws, another, in which I was the child of a well-to-do military caste family following tradition and joining the academy, and the third being that I was the test tube spawn of a band of rogue scientists whom had not love for me, but only the desire to develop the perfect warrior pilot. Seeing the first two as, how did I put it, "totally lame as shit," I decided that I was, in fact, destined to be the most skilled destroyer of fleets in the known universe and set off to make my biological engineers proud!
Unfortunately, things only began to grow worse as I stepped into my bathroom and suddenly collapsed, writhing in unfathomable pain. It was as if my face was being stretched and contorted hideously out of shape and I was powerless to do anything to stop it. Every part of my body was begging for a swift end to the misery. How I wished there were simply a button that I could press to be gone of myself entirely and start anew. Alas, there was to be no such relief for me. As if my prayers had been answered, the pain evaporated in an instant, though the face I now saw reflected in the mirror was not my own. I had a full head of dark brown hair and defined stubble on my face, also, I could've sworn I was black yesterday. After a few moments, I noticed I wasn't wearing any clothing... And that was just OK.
//////////////////// Incoming transmission ///////////////////////
Name: MrAnderson (akari?) <--- (Randomly generated last name)
Location: 8738959.389257//1384 Kartisan sector <--- (Probably a real location)
Time: Approx. 45 minutes into a 14 day free trial
Subject: Houston...
Fuck this.
/////////////////// End transmission ////////////////////////////////
45 minutes earlier...
Captain's log/ trial date 2-4-2013
As I sit in my capsule, docked in a station orbiting a moon I can't pronounce and the promise of endless riches and adventure before me, I reflect upon my existence up to this point as a graduating pilot of the Calderran State War Academy. Ever since I can remember I've felt as if I've never been in control of my own life. It's never been more obvious than this morning after I awoke to find that I couldn't remember anything about who I was. It seems as if it took me an eternity to remember my own name and yet another spent debating with myself as to why I shouldn't have it changed to MasterChiefRulez91.
A sudden air of loneliness made me long for home, which I also couldn't remember. After thinking heavily for some period of time, I could only come to three possible conclusions about my conception and childhood. One, in which I was the vengeful orphaned son of a pair of prestigious merchants, cut down by a gang of outlaws, another, in which I was the child of a well-to-do military caste family following tradition and joining the academy, and the third being that I was the test tube spawn of a band of rogue scientists whom had not love for me, but only the desire to develop the perfect warrior pilot. Seeing the first two as, how did I put it, "totally lame as shit," I decided that I was, in fact, destined to be the most skilled destroyer of fleets in the known universe and set off to make my biological engineers proud!
Unfortunately, things only began to grow worse as I stepped into my bathroom and suddenly collapsed, writhing in unfathomable pain. It was as if my face was being stretched and contorted hideously out of shape and I was powerless to do anything to stop it. Every part of my body was begging for a swift end to the misery. How I wished there were simply a button that I could press to be gone of myself entirely and start anew. Alas, there was to be no such relief for me. As if my prayers had been answered, the pain evaporated in an instant, though the face I now saw reflected in the mirror was not my own. I had a full head of dark brown hair and defined stubble on my face, also, I could've sworn I was black yesterday. After a few moments, I noticed I wasn't wearing any clothing... And that was just OK.
Sunday, February 3, 2013
Across the Galaxy (in 14 days)
Currently downloading the 14 day trial of EVE Online for a sort of "first impressions" article on the game. Although, if what I've been told is true, I could just as easily simulate the experience by opening MS Excel over a desktop picture of the Milky Way. Here's to limitless adventure and spreadsheets!
Saturday, February 2, 2013
A quick thought on video game censorship...
It goes without saying that I'm not a supporter of censorship. Someone with no business meddling in the affairs of others' creations shouldn't be allowed to skew the tone or intent of a work that doesn't belong to them. I believe that games are art and, like a vow of celibacy, only convey the intended message if no one else puts their cock in it.
The (alleged) horrors of video games pt. 2
As I ride along on this peculiar train of thought, I can't help but see a similarity between the effects violent shooters are said to have on people, and the very real effect things like the Kony 2012 movement had on many of my friends (as evidenced by my facebook displaying little else but the same 20 minute long video for almost 2 weeks) Simpy viewing a video created by a man who, for all we know, could've easily taken that small child from an orphanage, sat him down (oh yeah, and then burned down the orphanage) and forced him to ask questions about his African-American soon-to-be adoptive father, caused thousands of people who couldn't've been asked to give two shits about Kony before viewing this video, to start buying "Kony awareness kits" and talking about changing the world. Not that videos that provoke action towards changing the world for the better is a bad thing, but my point is these people had mindless reactions, not founded in reality, but in the part of human nature that wants to do good. Who's to say there isn't a similar desire to inflict pain and resort to our primal instinct that isn't amplified by these violent, militant video games?
My kung fu robot assassins are telling me via our state-of-the-art neural net comms that I should probably wrap this up soon, so I'll give it one more paragraph and then leave you with one question "What the hell did I just read?" I mean... Do video games promote violent tendencies in society and is it grounds for censoring or banning certain games? I've always felt that people are more a product of their environment than of any inherent good or evil arbitrarily placed within us. So, I propose this: If we are, in fact products of society, then perhaps society itself is to blame for the state it's populace? Maybe, if we as people made more of an effort to include those considered "fringe" instead of casting them away like second-hand citizens, then when they finally decided Xbox LIVE isn't live enough for them, they'll go enlist in the military instead of taking it out on children. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure and, in this case, I believe the best form of prevention is not censoring the developer so that he can't make what he pleases for fear of upsetting someone's angsty, virtual-war worn teenage child, but a society in which we love and care for one another regardless of circumstance... And one in which I am supreme overlord. RELEASE THE ASSASSINS!!!
My kung fu robot assassins are telling me via our state-of-the-art neural net comms that I should probably wrap this up soon, so I'll give it one more paragraph and then leave you with one question "What the hell did I just read?" I mean... Do video games promote violent tendencies in society and is it grounds for censoring or banning certain games? I've always felt that people are more a product of their environment than of any inherent good or evil arbitrarily placed within us. So, I propose this: If we are, in fact products of society, then perhaps society itself is to blame for the state it's populace? Maybe, if we as people made more of an effort to include those considered "fringe" instead of casting them away like second-hand citizens, then when they finally decided Xbox LIVE isn't live enough for them, they'll go enlist in the military instead of taking it out on children. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure and, in this case, I believe the best form of prevention is not censoring the developer so that he can't make what he pleases for fear of upsetting someone's angsty, virtual-war worn teenage child, but a society in which we love and care for one another regardless of circumstance... And one in which I am supreme overlord. RELEASE THE ASSASSINS!!!
The (alleged) horrors of video games pt. 1
In 1994 the newly formed Entertainment Software Ratings Board, (ESRB) fearing that a sudden collapse in society was inevitable due to kung fu robot assassin wannabes born of Mortal Kombat, set out with one idea in mind: Take over the world via kung fu robot assassins. Wait a second... Well, either I've left my e-diary window open or I've been playing too much Metal Gear Solid, in any case, moving on... Their mission was to prevent as many young children as they could from going to school, finding someone they didn't like, freezing them and ripping their spine out. I'd wager after all these years and no(t many) reported cases of that happening they feel pretty good about themselves, but I think it's due more in part to the fact that we're not all turned into mindless psychotics as soon as we turn on the damn game (Unless you pick Johnny Cage, in which case, there may be something wrong with you after all)
Now this isn't to say that there aren't certain aspects of video games that may influence those members of society who get a little too swept up in these worlds. Not unlike the kind of people that cosplay to work. For example, with realistic First Person Shooters being the "in" thing right now, it wouldn't be out of the question to say that blowing up an assembly of pixels that look uncannily like another human being with an assembly of pixels looking not unlike an AT-4 rocket into yet another assembly of pixels resembling said human's intestinal tract is desensitizing to say the least. However, this has also lead to the speculation that infamous gunmen of innocent civilians have used these shooters as training for their massacres. Now this, in turn, makes about as much sense as saying watching baseball all day is going to make you physically better at playing baseball. Playing an FPS is still far removed from the real life actions portrayed.
I'm still struggling to wrap my head around what it is exactly that would cause someone to become so enveloped in this make believe world that they feel compelled to go out and slaughter a bunch of Russian soldiers that look not unlike 4th grade children. Perhaps there's an answer in my last article about games being art and all that feminine hoo-haa. As video games are an interactive medium for story telling that puts you square in the middle of your super soldier protagonist. He has knowledge of all weapon types and their respective functions, regenerating health, and the uncanny ability to cheat imminent death when the story calls for it. So, the question in some people's mind is, "why can't I?"
Now this isn't to say that there aren't certain aspects of video games that may influence those members of society who get a little too swept up in these worlds. Not unlike the kind of people that cosplay to work. For example, with realistic First Person Shooters being the "in" thing right now, it wouldn't be out of the question to say that blowing up an assembly of pixels that look uncannily like another human being with an assembly of pixels looking not unlike an AT-4 rocket into yet another assembly of pixels resembling said human's intestinal tract is desensitizing to say the least. However, this has also lead to the speculation that infamous gunmen of innocent civilians have used these shooters as training for their massacres. Now this, in turn, makes about as much sense as saying watching baseball all day is going to make you physically better at playing baseball. Playing an FPS is still far removed from the real life actions portrayed.
I'm still struggling to wrap my head around what it is exactly that would cause someone to become so enveloped in this make believe world that they feel compelled to go out and slaughter a bunch of Russian soldiers that look not unlike 4th grade children. Perhaps there's an answer in my last article about games being art and all that feminine hoo-haa. As video games are an interactive medium for story telling that puts you square in the middle of your super soldier protagonist. He has knowledge of all weapon types and their respective functions, regenerating health, and the uncanny ability to cheat imminent death when the story calls for it. So, the question in some people's mind is, "why can't I?"
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